Only a matter of time..

I wish I didn’t know you so well. I knew it was only a matter of time before u came around again only this time things have changed. I know now the things I was to stupid to see before. I know now that it’s not love that keeps u coming back it’s sex. I know now that it’s about u getting what u want an not about me at all. I know now that your not worth it. I wouldn’t trade what I have with him for u ever, u are incapable of lovin me the way I feel he loves me. You don’t know what love is and that’s sad. I hate more than anything that I do feel sorry for u because I know now that’s how I give in. Deep inside I like to think that you do love me even just slightest but I can’t hold on to “the slightest” I need more than that. I wish we can go back 10 years so I can do so many things different starting with having let u go way back when. You have done me so much damage mentally as well as internally to my heart and it has taken me this long to finally see the truth and feel it too. I wish u as much luck and happiness as I wish for myself. Because its time we free ourselves of “us”. I want u to know I loved u dearly and love dose not fade it just subsides sometimes when it’s not nurtured. Forever my 1st love, you will always be.